9 months...She's now been gone as long as she was here :'-(

Today marks 9 months since our beautiful Stephanie went to be with Jesus.  In some ways it seems like just yesterday and other ways it seems like so long ago.   Today was a bittersweet day.  We went to an OB appointment today.  All is well with the twins, and for those of you who don't follow me on Facebook or CafeMom, the twins are a girl and a BOY!  After 6 girls we are finally adding a boy to our family and another precious girl.  We have chosen to name them Jason Edward and Julianna Lynn.  We took a brief tour of Labor and Delivery.  We did that to see it newly remodeled and to see if being up there caused any significant anxiety.  Thankfully it did not, though I didn't go in the room where I was told she had died because there was a patient in there.  I guess I will wait until I have to be in there and see what happens.

I don't know why but I want to address something.  When a loved one dies, it is common for others to console you with "They are in a better place" or "They are in Paradise" or "They are with Jesus".  This is comforting, but it seems that you are expected to suddenly switch from devastated to elated.  Those who've lost loved one after they have suffered a terrible illness may find this more comforting than someone who has lost a baby.  You see when you first get that positive pregnancy test or see that little bean on ultrasound, I'm sure you never thought to yourself, "Gee, if we're really lucky, God will take this baby to Paradise before he/she even takes a breath on this Earth or before they (insert any life event here)".  I guess I just wanted to give a perspective on this.  Not really to caution you from saying it.  I probably will at some point, when trying to comfort a bereaved family because it is comforting to know our babies are safe and sound, even more so than if they were here with us, but understanding that although there is comfort in that knowledge, it doesn't really lessen the devastation that we feel knowing that this little one we've been bonding with from the moment we knew they were there, is now only a memory we carry for the rest of our Earthly lives until the day we are reunited forever in Heaven.