To
all of our dear family and friends:
As
many of you are aware, this year has been full of both ups and downs
for us. In February of this year, we moved from the basement we had
lived in for two years, to a home in Roseville. Though we miss our
family, that we were living with, living above ground has improved
both our moods and our overall health.
In
March, we learned that our 6th blessing, due July 26, 2012
was to be a girl! We were very excited to be welcoming her to our
family. At that time we decided her name was to be Stephanie Ruth.
In
May, Jon and I celebrated 10 years of wedded bliss! Towards the end
of May, I was put on a modified bed rest due to Pre-Eclampsia. Many
of our church family pitched in to help us with meals and cleaning.
We are so grateful for that!
July
is the month where our lives were forever changed. (This is the
abbreviated version, to view the full story, read the archives on this blog)
On Sunday, July 15, I woke up after having a dream about Jon's mom
(whose name is Mary Joanna, she passed away 3/2011). This dream
prompted me to suggest changing Stephanie's middle name to Joanna. I
laid in bed feeling her move that morning. Later in the day, I
realized I hadn't felt her move in quite awhile. After laying down
and still not feeling anything, I headed to the hospital and my worst
fears were confirmed, Stephanie's heart stopped beating. After 26
hours of induced labor, Stephanie's lifeless body was delivered. The
girls came up to the hospital to see the sister they had been waiting
for. They all got to hold her. Pictures were taken by a volunteer
photographer from the company Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. We
ultimately decided to change her middle name to Joanna, believing
there was some sort of significance to the dream I had that morning.
A Memorial Service was planned for the following Saturday. We spent
that first week planning the service.
The
next few months are a bit of a blur. There were many hard days. A
lot of sadness. However, through this situation, it has become
abundantly clear how much God loves His children. We have been
comforted in ways we never expected and quicker than we ever thought
possible. The scriptures have been a comfort. We now have a greater
understanding of them, especially the verses about comfort, suffering
and the unending Love of God. Christian Music was a huge comfort
especially in those early days, when picking up the Bible was just
too much to bear. God has used His people, who have been through the
pain of a life changing loss, to comfort us through this time. Many
would speak the TRUTH in LOVE. Though sometimes that was hard to
hear, looking back, that is one of the things that helped the most.
Our church family also began a prayer schedule where people signed up
for blocks of time to spend specifically in prayer for us, 24 hours a
day for 6 weeks! What a blessing this was! God also used books
written by Mothers who've also lost a child. Reading about their
grief validated the things I was feeling and helped me realize that
the thoughts and doubts were common. It also helped me realize that
whether your child died inside of your womb, shortly after birth or
many years later, the pain is the same, though the circumstances are
different. We also found a support group called Friends Supporting
Parents, which has been a great help, for which we are thankful for.
Jon and I (and the girls) are forever changed by this experience and
though we would have never chosen to walk this road, we are on it and
chose to turn our grief into gratitude and grow. We realized we can
either let it ruin us or we can allow God to work through us, and be
a part of making positive changes in the lives of those who hear
Stephanie's story.
That
brings us to October. Jon and I went away to a Marriage Seminar
called a Weekend to Remember in Columbus, OH. The registration was
gifted to us after Family Life heard about the loss of Stephanie. We
were both enlightened that perhaps one day, we could become a part of
the Family Life Staff. Just two years prior, I had not wanted any
part of that and thought Jon was crazy for even suggesting it. Oh
how a couple of years can change things. We would love to be a part
of a ministry committed to strengthening families. I am also
passionate about helping families who are grieving the loss of a
child, particularly through Stillbirth. I am currently exploring
different ways to do that in the future, realizing that now may not
be the best time to pursue that. Especially since we came home from
Columbus with a souvenir ;-) We found out a couple of weeks later
that we are expecting our 7th blessing! This baby's due
date is 7/25/13, just one day before Stephanie was due last year. We
don't believe there is any coincidence about that. We fully believe
God had this all planned out. We continue to trust that His will,
will be accomplished, though we pray daily that He would be pleased
to allow this baby to grow to term and be born into this world alive.
The
girls have done really well with this. We've involved them in all of
it. We've answered their questions and they are quick to correct
anyone that suggests that we have just 5 children. Stephanie is
FOREVER a part of our family!
This
week (12/10), began a new change for them. They began attending
public school. It became clear to us that, at least for now, Home
schooling is not the best option for our family. Rebekah and Abigail
are adjusting well. Rachel loves her teacher but is struggling with
the changes. She is a very sensitive young lady, so dealing with
kids who aren't so nice is a struggle. We realize this is something
she'll have to deal with all of her life, but it's hard to “throw
her to the wolves” at such an emotional time in her life. I'm
enjoying special time with Alexandria and Samantha, while the big
girls are at school.
With
Love,
The
Schmaltz Family ♥
Jon & Sara
Rachel, Rebekah, Abigail, Alexandria
Samantha & Stephanie (forever in our hearts)
& Lord willing, our 7th blessing, due 7/25/13
