My precious Stephanie,
Oh sweet girl, mommy is missing you so much tonight. It's officially been 6 months since the day you died. Though it was another whole day until you were delivered, the 15th is the day our lives changed forever. It's been awhile since I've missed you this much. There isn't a day that goes by that you are not thought of and missed. I am looking forward to the birth of your siblings, but they will never replace you. My arms ache for you. I continue to long for the day that I can hold you. Your sisters, the new babies, no one will take away that ache that can only be filled by you. It may not be felt as often, but it will always be there, until we are there with you.
God has done amazing things in our lives since he called you home. Though I am grateful for the change, I will always wish those things could have been accomplished through some other way, but that was not God's plan.
I miss you so much. That will never stop. You are and forever will be a significant part of our lives. Your absence is noticed daily.
I love you my Angel Princess!
Love,
Mommy
Stephanie's Memorial Service (I just felt like I should repost the link for those who weren't able to come or for those who haven't had a chance to watch it)
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It seems like there have been so many tragic losses and battles with terminal illnesses with in the Christian community. I realize these things are happening outside of the Christian community as well but being a Christian, I am speaking from this perspective. And by tragic, I mean young parents, babies and children. I do not mean to minimize the loss of parents of adult children or grandparents, aunts and uncles etc. Those are hard, there is no doubt about it. But they are expected. Nobody expects to lose their baby before or shortly after birth. No one expects to have a child diagnosed with cancer. No one expects their spouse to battle a terminal illness or to be killed in an accident. Not that we think we are "above" that. I guess it's just that we all have this built in knowledge that it wasn't supposed to be this way. When God created the world, there was no sin. Therefore, no death. However, as soon as sin entered in, so did death. But it wasn't suppposed to be. We all know these things happen, but we do not expect it. We certainly don't expect it to happen to us. I believe there is a reason for this. This is just my opinion. I believe God has chosen us, and other Christian people to steward these burdens to show His glory. We demonstrate that even when faced with horrific circumstances, our faith and loyalty not only continues, but flourishes and shines. I believe He is using us to further His Kingdom, to win more souls for Him. So that people will see what He has done in our lives and will want that for theirs! I believe His return is soon. I don't claim to know when. The bible says no one knows the day or the hour. But there are signs that are becoming more and more clear that we are coming closer to that day. It could be tomorrow, it could be next week, it could be next year, it could be several decades from now, it could be before you finish reading this blog. Are you ready? Do you know the difference between religion and relationship with Jesus? I can tell you this, it wasn't religion that got me through Stephanie's death, it was and continues to be Jesus.
