Holidays can be especially hard when someone you love is missing. Though his/her absence may seem more evident on Thanksgiving or Christmas (or whatever Holiday you are celebrating), it's really just another day. The truth is, you miss your baby everyday, you probably won't miss them more just because it's a Holiday. Anticipation of big days (Holidays, Birthdays & due dates specifically) are usually worse than the day itself. Starting new traditions that honor your baby may be helpful. We buy an ornament each year in honor of our daughter, Stephanie. We also have purchased toys for a child her age and donated them. I've found it very rewarding to demonstrate my love for my daughter, by showing love to others.
Here are a few tips from me to help get through the Holidays when grieving...Saying "No" really is ok. If you do decide to go to a Holiday event, leave yourself an out. Park on the street, so you can leave when/if you need to. If it suddenly becomes too much, don't feel bad about just slipping out without announcing it. I like to do what I called "controlled grieving". Find some time to just be alone with the things that remind you of your baby. Your pictures, his/her clothes, his/her blanket or stuffed animal, etc. Cry, bawl, wail if you need to. Get it all out. You will still be sad, but it may be more controlled if you allow yourself time to just let it out in a setting that you are comfortable. Give yourself some grace. You are walking a difficult path. There is no denying that.
Here are a few tips from me to help get through the Holidays when grieving...Saying "No" really is ok. If you do decide to go to a Holiday event, leave yourself an out. Park on the street, so you can leave when/if you need to. If it suddenly becomes too much, don't feel bad about just slipping out without announcing it. I like to do what I called "controlled grieving". Find some time to just be alone with the things that remind you of your baby. Your pictures, his/her clothes, his/her blanket or stuffed animal, etc. Cry, bawl, wail if you need to. Get it all out. You will still be sad, but it may be more controlled if you allow yourself time to just let it out in a setting that you are comfortable. Give yourself some grace. You are walking a difficult path. There is no denying that.
Some links that may be helpful...
