You have not, because you've asked not...

**I have no idea why parts of this are highlighted and can't figure out how to fix it.**

You have not, because you've asked not...This verse from James 4:2 has been going through my head so much in the last several days.  I can't help but think that it is God putting it there.  It is just as clear as when I heard "Be still and know that I am God" from Psalm 46:10 during my darkest days of grieving.

The bible says in Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

In Matthew 6:34 it says Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.

So does this mean that we are to just simply trust that He will supply?  Are we just sitting by expecting Him to do it.  Remember when you were younger and you had that one gift you were hoping to get for your birthday or Christmas?  Did you just expect your parents to know what you wanted?  Did you mention it once 6 months ago and expect that they would remember?  I'm guessing not.  You probably reminded them on a regular basis, right?  Well, God doesn't forget, but He does want us to talk to Him.  He wants us to ask Him for things that we need and even for the things we desire in our heart.  It's not pestering Him if we ask him repeatedly.  Yes, He knows our needs even better than we do.  But that is not the point.  He is a good good Father and He gives great gifts!

The bible also says...

1 Peter 5:7  Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.

Jeremiah 29:12-13  12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

1 John 5:14   This is the confidence we have in approaching God:  That if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

I think these verses are just a sample of proofs that He wants us to bring our needs to Him.

We are currently in a situation where there are mountains that we are needing God to move.  It seems we've been here a long time.  He has been faithful along the way and provided in both little and big ways.  We are so thankful for that and for the people he has used to provide for those needs.  However, until today, we have not made it a regular matter of prayer.  We will be praying in faith about this on a daily basis from now on.  The intent of this post is simply to share what I believe God has placed on my heart.  We'd love it if you would join us in praying for these unspoken requests.  I'm looking forward to seeing God move in the situations that I am praying for.  I invite you to get serious about praying for the needs in your life.  I think you'll be amazed when you see Him move in your life. 

 If there is a mountain in your life that you would like me to pray for, please feel free to email me at fullquiver77@gmail.com or if we are friends on Facebook, you can send me a private message there as well.

What Parenting a Deceased Child Looks Like

You're in the grocery store waiting to check out.  Noticing your overflowing basket, the person behind you says, "Wow,  that's a lot of groceries, how many kids do you have?"  For most of the population, this question is very simple, but for a parent who has lost a child, this is what goes through their head.  Using my life as an example... Do I include Stephanie and say 8?  If I do, am I being dishonest, Stephanie doesn't eat any of the food?  Should I say 8, but one is waiting for us in Heaven, which typically turns a conversation awkward.  Or do I just say 7, and be filled with guilt for not including Stephanie.  I've said different variations of all 3, but, anytime I've said 7, I get a sick feeling in my stomach.

If you are not a bereaved parent,  you may wonder why this is such a dilema.  Here is why I believe our answer should reflect the amount of children we carry in our hearts and not just the ones the world can see.  We still parent our deceased children.  It looks different than the way we parent our living children, but it's parenting nonetheless.  There is a special place in our hearts for our children that are no longer here with us.  It cannot be filled by anything or anyone else.  We have a desire to act out that love.  Here are just a few examples of how we parent our deceased children.  We think of them daily.  Not in a woe is me kind of way, but a loving reminiscent kind way.  Sometimes it just occurs to us during normal daily things that someone is missing.  Many of us acknowledge their birthday and date of death, for many of us those are the same day.  We may even have a little get together with cake and balloons.  Many parents get a tattoo in memory of their child.  It is a visual representation marking their place in a family.  This also often opens a door for us to share when others ask about it.  Some have started non-profit organizations in their child's memory.  Often providing support to families walking similar paths as they have walked.  Some serve the community in some way.  Sometimes it may just be a change in the way they treat others.  Some may find that their calling is to work in the bereaved community as a Birth and Bereavement doula or Grief Counselor and put forth a lot of effort to receive the education necessary to provide these services.  Some of us may just drop everything to go help a friend who has just received news that their precious baby has died.  No formal training, just a unique qualification and an overwhelming desire to be there to walk alongside of them as they start their grief journey, just because you know how helpful and comforting it is to have someone like that in your life.  Some raise money to fund the placement of CuddleCots so that future bereaved parents can be offered the gift of time.  Perhaps it's attending a support group where you can share your story and listen to others.  4 years later, I still go.  I go primarily to be a voice of hope to new families, but another important reason is I can go and just be Stephanie's mom in a place where I can talk about her with no awkwardness.  A place where tears often flow.  Sometimes they are mine and sometimes they are others.

You see, our babies who've been called Home before us, are very much a part of everything we do.  They are woven in to the tapestry of our lives.  We do things differently because they were here.  We can't change them, feed them, bathe them, etc.  We can't hold them in our arms, but we most definitely hold them in our hearts.  We "parent" their memory.  So they wont be forgotten.  So their legacy can live on through us.