10 years

 

Here we are at 10 years.  This is a day, that I could not imagine making it to.  We've come so far in our grief/bereavement.  Though this year I've had a blah feeling for months, which seems to be my new normal, I hope my hormones will settle down because I don't like this new normal and I don't think my family cares much for it either.

We have chosen to "celebrate" Stephanie tomorrow so that all of us can be together.  This year we think she'd choose hamburgers and hot dogs.  And we'll have a special ladybug cake too.  Many of our friends and family participated in a Random Acts of Kindness event.

I often wonder what it would be like if Stephanie was here.  In all likelihood, it would be more fighting.  She may be our only "perfect child", but that is only because she is in Heaven.  I am positive she would be far from perfect, just like the rest of us.  

I wish I had some profound words to share with those of you who read this, but they just aren't coming.  It still hurts that this is our reality.  Some days, Heaven can't come soon enough.