Oh to be content with my life... This is the secret I am hoping to discover within the pages of the book "One Thousand Gifts" by AnnVoskamp and the Bible of course. But right now if life had a remote with a rewind or a fast forward button, I would press one of them in a heartbeat. Most likely I would choose the fast forward button because the rewind would cause me to go through this all over again. I just want to be past this intensely painful part of my life. But, unfortunately there is no such remote. In addition to that I would miss out on all of the spiritual growth going through this sort of thing causes. However this growth comes with the most excrutiating growing pains.
I have had a few "good" days in between the bad ones. It seems I am just led to post something on the days that are particularily difficult. I am continuing to find comfort in music and scripture as well. Oh how I wish I could feel the arms of Christ surrounding me. I know they are there and I guess I feel them to an extent, because I truly believe that is the only way I am able to breath in and out and put one foot in front of the other each day. Though some days those efforts are so painful. But I want to really feel them like the words of the Kari Jobe song, The More I seek You say "I wanna sit at your feet drink from the cup in your hand. Lay back against you and breath, hear your heart beat"
Yesterday, I had another "visit" from a ladybug. I know some believe that these visits are their loved one coming for a visit. I don't believe that Stephanie is the ladybug. If you do, please don't be offended, I just don't. But I do think there is some significance to these visits. I don't know if God sends them, or Stephanie asks Him to, or if it's some other reason other than pure coincidence.
I am so blessed by others who mention Stephanie. To hear others use her name is a gift to me. It reminds me that she has touched so many hearts even though she never even took a breath on this Earth.
No comments:
Post a Comment